"Girl Time" At Any Age

Crafting with friends

Bunko table

Two bunko tables

Firepit after dark with some friends

I’ve always been what they call a “people person.” It’s just how I’m wired, and anyone who’s known me for any length of time can attest to that. Now, I married a man who, bless his heart, is the polar opposite. A confirmed introvert, and after a career that demanded he be “on” with people all day, every day, he’s embracing retirement with a fervor. Prefers his shopping trips when the aisles are deserted, you know, avoiding the “hoi polloi,” as they used to say.

So, here I am, walking alongside him in this new chapter, and I’ve found myself with a rather significant deficit: a distinct lack of human interaction. And to complicate matters, we made a cross-country move back in the summer of ’19. We knew of people, certainly, but weren’t deeply rooted. It didn’t concern me then, what with new jobs and our daughter and her family nearby.

Then, of course, came 2020. The year we all became hermits. Remote everything. And frankly, those masks… well, they felt rather suffocating. It’s hard to connect when you can’t even see a smile. We’d barely settled into our new home when the world shut down.

When things loosened a bit, I organized a Bunko group. Twenty ladies, monthly gatherings. It was a lifeline for all of us. But as life resumed its pace, coordinating everyone became impossible. We tried other games, but the spark had faded.

Since then, I’ve joined a half-dozen ladies’ groups. Each time, I’d put on my best face, get my nametag, and attend faithfully, giving it my best shot, as they say. But none quite clicked.

If you know me personally, you may be aware that, for the past 11 years, I’ve been affiliated with a fast casual restaurant brand.  It’s truly been “my pleasure” to work in this multi-gen setting and mentor emerging professionals.  But, even in that very people-filled setting, no authentic connections blossomed. I was still looking for "girl time."

Having recently stepped away, I’ve had this nagging feeling that I’m not alone. I suspect many of us find ourselves in new stages of life, perhaps having drifted from our old friendships. Maybe, like me, you’ve relocated and are seeking new circles. Or perhaps you stayed put, but life’s ebb and flow has loosened those ties. That dear friend you used to see weekly is now someone you exchange a warm hug with in the grocery aisle.

Regardless, cyberspace won’t fill that void. But here in our growing community, we can chat, perhaps rekindle old acquaintances, make new ones, and encourage each other as we seek our “local girl tribe” in this phase of life. Don’t give up. Even my introverted daughters have their girl-circles and rely heavily on them for emotional encouragement and moral support. We’re not meant to navigate life alone. We’re communal beings, and we thrive when we nurture those connections. It’s a matter of health, really, to feed that need for “people-ing.”