Mentoring As Moms: Being a mother to adults takes on a different character

: by contributing writer, Patti Butler

As a mom of four adult children—and as a pastor’s wife and missionary partner—I’ve had the joy and privilege of mothering more than just my own kids. Over the years, I’ve found myself walking alongside many young women, and what a blessing that’s been. These relationships have been deeply reciprocal: while I may offer wisdom, I’ve received just as much in return.

Let’s be honest: being a parent is scary, hard, confusing, and just downright humbling. The responsibility of caring for, nurturing, and guiding the spiritual and emotional growth of another human being? It’s a calling that’s both weighty and sacred. And as they say, kids don’t come with instruction manuals.

I once had a therapist share an analogy that’s stuck with me: having a child is like being handed a package of seeds. You don’t really know what you have until it starts growing.

• Maybe you have a daisy—cheerful and resilient, hard to keep down.

• Maybe you’re raising a rose—stunning but a little prickly.

• Or perhaps you’ve got some sage—flavorful, deep, a little wild, and once the winds of adolescence blow, it turns into full-blown sagebrush, untamed and hard to contain.

Each child is unique. And so is every parenting journey.

Our Calling to Mentor

As seasoned mothers, it’s our privilege—and responsibility—to walk alongside younger moms. To share, with humility and honesty, the lessons we’ve learned along the way. Not from a place of perfection, but from experience. From trying and failing. From praying through tears and celebrating small victories.

There have been moments when young moms (and young dads, in my husband's case) have come to us and said, “I don’t know what to do. Can you help me learn to be the parent I need to be?” What an honor—and what a holy invitation.

And here’s the truth: I’ve learned so much from them, too. More than I expected. These younger parents have gently revealed my own blind spots, sometimes prompting me to ask for forgiveness—from my children, and from God. That’s the beauty of community—it refines us, no matter where we are in the journey.

An Invitation to You

If you’re not currently mentoring a younger lady (mom or not), I encourage you to start. It doesn’t have to be formal. Invite her for coffee. Ask how she’s doing. Offer your time, not your expertise. Let her set the pace and ask the questions as the trust grows.

Don’t step into the relationship thinking, “I have so much to teach.”Instead, come with the heart posture of, “I have so much to learn.”

You don’t have all the answers—neither do I. But together, we can grow in grace, wisdom, and love.

Mentoring takes on many faces, many voices, many settings. But, most of all, it's making authentic connections and building a culture of trust.

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Patti Butler is a leader, mentor, entrepreneur, and creative with a heart for building up women, families, and communities. Her professional journey began as a young, suddenly-single mom of two, building a career in finance and logistics—an experience that shaped the empathy and resilience she brings to every role.

Today, Patti mentors young women and families, consults with small businesses, and continues to serve with humility, hospitality, and a deep love for the local church and those God places in her path. Read her full bio on our ABOUT page.