What I Know Now That I Wish I Knew at 30
- Kim-The Seasoned Lady
- May 19
- 3 min read
If I could sit across from my 30-year-old self—with her high hopes, her exhaustion, and her relentless quest to “get it all right”—I wouldn’t lecture her. I’d pour her a cup of herbal tea, hand her a piece of dark chocolate, and tell her a few things straight from the heart.

You Don’t Have to Have All the Answers
My Dear, let go of the pressure. You don’t have to know exactly where you're headed, how you'll get there, or what everyone else needs from you. Life will unfold whether you’ve charted the course or not. The wisdom is in learning to pivot gracefully, laugh at detours, and trust that “I don’t know yet” is a complete sentence. You will be blown away at how much pressure you take off yourself when you stop believing that everyone needs you to be "everything" with "every answer."
And—here’s the real kicker—not everyone is depending on you to solve everything. You may feel like the designated answer woman, but what they really need is your love, your encouragement, and your ability to help them make sense of the world with them, not for them. If you position yourself as the source of every answer, sure, you might look like the hero on your good days—but you'll also end up the villain when you're wrong, or the reluctant messenger of hard truths. That kind of burden will grind your spirit down. Share the weight. Raise thinkers, not just followers. You are not the oracle. You are their guide, their safe space, their sounding board—and that’s more than enough.
I Know Now Aging Is Inevitable—So Learn to Embrace It
You will earn lines where your laughter lives and softness where your babies once laid their heads. You’ll have days where your back talks back and nights where your hormones throw a tantrum. But you'll also learn that beauty deepens with truth, and strength comes from embracing every version of yourself. Aging isn’t a decline—it’s a reveal. Learn to love who and what you were beautifully created to be, and share it with those around you.
And that goes for your children, too. Don’t fall into the trap of wishing they’d stay little one moment, then resenting their immaturity the next. Let them grow. Cheer it on. Embrace their changing faces, their shifting needs, and their awkward leaps toward independence. One of the most freeing things I’ve learned is to stop romanticizing the past or rushing the future—and just be present in their becoming. Every stage is a season, and none of them last forever.
Your Husband Won’t Be Perfect—But He’ll Be Perfect for You
He will forget to fix that thing. He’ll load the dishwasher like it’s a crime scene. He will never fully understand your Target receipts or your moods. But he’ll show up when it counts. He’ll hold your hand in silence when words won’t help. He’ll grow beside you in ways you didn’t know mattered. That, my dear, is love. Not flawless. Just faithful. Like my sister-in-law says, "he's perfectly designed to put up with my stuff."
I Can Be His Encourager Without Losing Myself
Marriage isn't about molding each other into matching pieces—it’s about choosing to grow side by side, even when you're reaching for different dreams. I’ve learned that my husband doesn’t need a critic—he needs a cheerleader, a safe place, someone who believes in him when he’s doubting himself. That doesn’t mean I shrink or go silent when I disagree. It means I speak truth with love, and I resist the urge to chip away at him with little jabs. My support doesn't make me smaller—it makes us stronger. And when I help him become his best self, it inspires me to do the same.
Raise Kids Who Are Kind—Not Just Well-Dressed
It took me a minute to realize that raising shiny, presentable children is far less important than raising decent, kind, responsible humans. I don’t care if they wear mismatched socks to church. I care if they carry someone’s groceries without being asked. Teach them how to be good neighbors, loyal friends, and contributors to this world—not just performers in it. I'm so thankful our daughters are doing the same today—our grandchildren are being taught well how to live with gratitude, respect for others, and embrace growth, love and laughter.
If you're 30 and reading this, consider it a little flashlight for the path ahead. If you're my age or older, nod with me. Maybe pour yourself a little something and whisper, “Amen.”
And if you're somewhere in between—keep going. It gets richer. It gets realer. And my dear friend, it gets so much better.
“But you'll also learn that beauty deepens with truth, and strength comes from embracing every version of yourself. Aging isn’t a decline—it’s a reveal.”
I love this Kim. Beautifully said! 💗